I felt like every piece of my body was being pulled apart into a million directions and everything blurred out on me then went dark.Suddenly I found m...self fully awake again, standing in my living room and staring at Dave, who was smiling at me and looking very pleased. "Wow, thanks," He was saying, "You're really doing all of us a huge favor." What favor, I wondered. It was then that I realized that I felt extremely different. Looking down, I gasped, seeing that somehow I'd been turned into. My first real taste of battle was at the siege of Ciudad Rodrigo in 1812.Our men called the town The Red City, partly because of the colour of the stone built houses, and partly for the amount of blood shed, by those poor souls who fought to overcome the fortress, and those equally poor souls who tried, unsuccessfully, to prevent us.Here was my chance to shine, and I volunteered for the Forlorn Hope, the band of men who led the storming party through a breach, or in this case over the walls of. "Oi! Gordon! This fuckin pouff's eyeing up your arse!" A large bag of ice appeared in my gut, and I thought, "Oh shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! You stupid queen! Cruising a skinhead! What kind of an idiot are you?" Jaz, the weasel, was still ranting."An look at this!" he said to Gordon, who was now looming over me too, "He's fuckin wearing make-up, nancy fucker!" Again - shit! It was true, I had not been very thorough with the wet-wipes after our rehearsal. Gordon loomed closer."Zat right? You. Ek din me unke ghar gaya tha jo mene unko bata ke rakha tha per hua yu ki chacha jaldi shop per chale gaye the aur me pahucha to unke aane ka time ho chukka tha to mene chachi ko bola muje to aapki chut chahiye kuch bhi ho jaye aapko aaj aapki chut muje chudne ke liye deni hi hogi aap chacha ko bolo ke thodi der bad aaye per aaj to muje aapko chudna hi he. To chachi ne bola ke ruk ja mere raja muje bhi tere se chudvana he per tere chacha aate hoge to maja nahi aayega. To me jid per chad gaya to.
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